lord, let me be a doer

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lately, i've been really trying to "move my hand away from the rich soil of my heart and welcome seed that sows salvation 'to the uttermost.'" i borrowed that from beth moore's james: mercy triumphs study, p. 77. i really want to allow God to do his work in me, to live out "i am God's workmanship" and not just say it. if you ask mdh, he'd tell you he hasn't noticed, because i have betrayed myself. i think i'm so self-righteous, a martyr, always doing what god calls me to do. honestly? what a crock.

i have been the man in james 1:24: looking intently at myself in a mirror and as soon as i walk away forget what i look like. ouch, God. that hurts. but i really love when God is faithful even when i don't want him to be. remember, God is just as faithful in judgment as he is in blessings. i had a conversation with a new, but much-loved friend about this exact thing. i am so moved by a message i've heard, a scripture i've read, lyrics to a song; even as i worship, tears pour down my face as i feel God speaking to me. half an hour later, i am berating mdh for some small slight. what if God did this to me?

oh, i am so thankful God does not keep a record of my wrongs. i need a makeover from the inside out. i want God's Word to change me, not just touch me. i want to live the Word, not just hear it.

as always, quit hiding that light under a basket; let your light shine.